As soon as you are seated, you should remove your napkin from your place setting, unfold it away from the table top, and place it in your lap. If it is a small napkin, it should be completely unfolded. If it is a large dinner napkin, it should be left folded in half, lengthwise.
The napkin should be used to gently to blot your mouth, meant only to be dabbed at the lips and should not get dirty in the process. Therefore, at a formal event, the napkin is not provided to help you clean up any mess that might occur during the course of the meal.
When you leave the table at the end of the meal, place your napkin loosely next to your plate. It should not be crumpled or twisted, nor should it be left on the chair.
In general use, both the spoon and fork are held horizontally by balancing them between the first knuckle of the middle finger and the tip of the index finger, while the thumb steadies the handle. The knife is used with the tip of the index finger gently pressing out over the top of the blade to guide you as you cut.
Bread should be broken into small, bite-sized pieces and should be buttered piece by piece, rather than all at once. One exception to this is with rolls that are served warm, which can be broken or cut in half, and each half can then be buttered.
The butter knife should remain on the bread plate, rather than on the dinner plate.
Dip the soup into the spoon, moving it away from the body, then sip the liquid from the side of the spoon. You should never insert the whole bowl of the spoon into your mouth. It is also important that you never slurp your soup!
The salad bowl or plate will be on the left and should remain there, which may be a little difficult for the right-handed person to eat.
You can use a piece of bread or cracker to get pieces of salad onto your fork if you are having trouble.
When finished, the salad fork should be placed on the serving dish that the salad bowl came with. If there is no dish, place the fork in the bowl.
There are two ways to use a knife to cut and eat your food--American (Zig Zag) Style and European (Continental) Style. Either style is considered appropriate.
With the American (Zig Zag) Style, you cut the food by holding the knife in the right hand and the fork in the left hand with the fork tines holding the food to the plate. You cut one or two bite-sized pieces and then lay the knife across the top edge of the plate with the sharp edge facing in. Before eating the bite-sized piece, you switch the fork from the left hand to the right hand, with the fork tines facing up.
The European (Continental) Style is the same as the American Style in that you cut your meat by holding the knife in the right hand while securing your food with the fork in the left hand. The fork then remains in the left hand, tines facing down, and the knife in the right hand. You eat the cut pieces of food by picking them up with the fork still in the left hand.
When finished eating dessert, you should place the spoon or fork on the serving dish. If a pudding bowl or stemmed dish comes with the dish, put the spoon on the dish.
You should never season your food before tasting it first.
You should always pass both the salt and pepper, even if just the salt or just the pepper is requested.
When passing the salt and pepper, you should pick up both of them and place them on the table within reach of the person next to you, who will do the same, and so on, until they reach the person who asked for them. The salt and pepper are not passed hand to hand.
A guest should never leave the table unless it is absolutely necessary. If you must leave, you should excuse yourself and get up quietly.
You should leave on the right side of the chair and place the napkin on the chair as you leave. If you are not returning, you should place the napkin on the table.